July 30, 2010

Being Afraid of Failing as a Mom

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Image By Pink Sherbet Photography

There are many things that I am afraid of. Little things like giant worms, clowns, forgetting to say I Love You to someone I love and then not seeing them again. And I also have big giant scary fears. We all have things we’re afraid of, right? And it’s OK to be afraid. Yes?

But what if that fear seems unfounded? What if it’s dumb or stupid or silly? We’re told from an early age not to be afraid. The bogeyman doesn’t exist. The monsters under the bed or in the closet can be tamed with special ‘monster spray’.

And who determines if that fear is founded or unfounded? Doctors? Your spouse? Friends? I’m not so sure. I’d like to think it would be me, but then again if I’m the one with the fear I’m sure as heck going to think it is based in reality.

My biggest fear is failing my daughter. Not being a good mom. Not in the sense that I didn’t let BabyGirl eat ice cream for every meal last week, mom fail. But big giant things like not protecting her or not being there when she really, really needs me.

Maybe it’s a common theme among moms. Maybe I’m just a freak who grew up being told that I can’t fail. That failure was horrible and unacceptable. That if something went wrong it was my responsibility to fix it. And that not fixing it wasn’t an option. Harsh, yes. But my reality.

Being a parent is hard. Being a perfectionist parent is nearly impossible. I live it. I know it’s hard. I know that my fear and perfectionism are being passed on. I know that my worries and anxieties are partially paralyzing. I know that I control this. That I am fully responsible for letting these fears go. But they won’t go away. And if I think they go away, they’re merely hibernating or on hiatus. Ready to leap forth at any moment when something goes ‘wrong’. Yes, wrong is in quotation marks. Because wrong is now subjective. Colored by an insane thought process of what is right.

I live with my fear. I try to rid it from my brain. I need it to go away. I want it to go away. It is irrational and debilitating at times. I don’t want it to take over. It can’t take over. It can’t win!

I am a good mom!
I am a good mom!
I am a good mom!

Please tell me I’m not alone in this fear. Maybe not to the same extent, but do you ever think you’re a failure as a mom?

Sara

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July 29, 2010

Catching The Brass Ring

There are times when you watch from afar and other times when you grab that brass ring and go for it! And that is what I did. When presented with the opportunity to attend the BlogHer conference in New York City next week, I went for it. And while I thought maybe I should save for next year and maybe I’ll go ’someday’, I decided to put walk into the talk. Stop Wishing, Start Doing!

And so next week I will join a few thousand other bloggers to learn, meet, laugh, cry, walk, talk, smile, schmooze, eat, dance, get up early, stay up late and generally have a great time. Instead of having nearly a year to plan, as many do, I’m living life on the edge and taking the plunge in to the biggest blog conference for women with merely a week notice. Seriously, people have been planning outfits and arranging for parties and events and all kinds of things for months. Me, I’m doing something very NOT ME. Not much wishing, and a lot more doing.

I’m fortunate to be connected with some great women bloggers who have invited me to share a room, attend a few parties and even be a hostess at one of the hottest breakfast tickets in town.  My friend Heather, who is the genius behind Team Inexpensively, is letting me room with her. I will also be a table host at the Bacon, Egg, and Coupon Breakfast along with Renae from Madame Deals, Corrin from Oh hey, What’s Up?, Toni from The Shopping Adventures of Cheapo McFrugalpants, Alicia from Making Time for Mommy, and Melissa from MultiTasking Mama where we will talk about the various aspects of blogging in a round table discussion.

I have had great experiences at the other blog conferences I have attended, Blissdom and Bloggy Bootcamp, and I expect that this one will be no different. I’m looking forward to learning more about blogging and how I can improve not only myself but also my blog. It will also be an opportunity for me to get out and live. To show BabyGirl that mommy has a life outside of taking care of her. Welcome to my Someday #2746!

Sara

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Albertsons Weekly Deals 7/28 – 8/3

Albertson’s is accepting coupons at face value this week. These deals are for Albertson’s SW Stores in Arizona, New Mexico and El Paso. Albertsons accepts manufacturers coupons at face value. Be sure to check your store for unadvertised sales.
Produce
Blueberries, 18 oz jumbo pack $1.88 ea
Iceberg Lettuce $0.50 ea

Fresh Express Blends Salad, 11-12 oz [...]

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Safeway Weekly Deals 7/28 – 8/3

This week all coupons (in AZ) up to $1.00 will be worth $1.00! Here are the best deals I see. Be sure to check your local ad and double check that these items are in your area as well. Safeway ads are the same for all affiliates (Carrs, Dominick’s, Genuardi’s, Pavilions, Randalls, [...]

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Frys Weekly Deals 7/28 – 8/3

Fry’s is a Kroger affiliate which doubles coupons up to $1.00, everyday. If you have not already loaded the eCoupons on your loyalty card, go to Cellfire, Shortcuts, P&G eSaver, and Kroger’s eCoupon program. Thank you to Saving Cents with Sense for help with these matchups this week. Check out her new site [...]

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Smart & Final Weekly Deals 7/28 – 8/3

Smart & Final is a small warehouse-style store where busy households find great savings on restaurant-quality food and supplies and culinary equipment. They are located in AZ, CA, ID, NV. OR, WA and northern Mexico. This is from the AZ ad, so check your local store for pricing and other local deals.
Smart & Final accepts [...]

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Sprouts Weekly Deals 7/28 – 8/4

The following deals are for the Sprouts Farmers Market stores in Arizona. Sprouts runs their sales from Wednesday to Wednesday, giving you a bonus Double-Ad day on Wednesday. If you didn’t get a chance to get to the market already, then you’re in luck on Wednesday and can take advantage of two [...]

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Home Ownership Is Overrated!

When CycleGuy and I got our first house, we were so excited. It was the symbol of the American Dream. We had a house with a 2-car garage, a bonus room and way more space than we really needed.
We didn’t live in that house very long because he took a job in Ohio, so we [...]

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Reflecting on the Year So Far

I was looking ahead to our trip to Disney World in September and realized that we’re nearly at the end of July. Where did the time go? I can vividly remember frantically trying to figure out how to get this blog going, wondering what all these boxes and plug-ins and widget things were. Now, I [...]

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Get Out of the Rut and Try Something New

Half the year has gone by, and I’m pretty settled into my routine. I like predictability and having a sense of what comes next. By nature I’m not a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal. Sometimes I wish I was though.
I have friends that can turn on a dime and change everything [...]

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